That 70's show quotes

The circle
(Red,Kitty,Bob,and midge in the circle after eating "special brownies")

Red:"I'm glad the plant is closing. It frees me up to do my own thing"

Kitty laughing hysterically:"You said "do my own thing"

Midge:"oh Red your own thing that's so hip."

Bob eating a bag of chips:"I love salt."

Red:"hip. I like that word. Hip. Hip. it kinda pops you know. Hip. Hip. I can see my mouth."

Kitty:"you know what's beautiful,Fruitcake all the different little fruits all living together in one cake"

Midge:"I jumped out of a cake once"

Bob:"I also love sweet but there's just something about salt"

Red:"Hip. Hip. IT starts to lose it's meaning after a while you know. Hip. Hip. It's not even a word."

(someone bangs on the basement door)

Kitty:"Oh my god you can hear my heart beat, (bangs again) Oh my god there it is again."

Red:"No, it's just someone for the garage sale, take whatever you want it won't fill the hole in your life.(bangs again) I'll get it."

Kitty:"you know for a terrible grouch, Red is great in bed"

Midge after laughing hysterically:"I'm sorry what"

(skip to red coming back)

Red singing:"Hippitty hoppity easters on it's way"

Kitty:"Whered you go Red?"

Red: "Well I was hopping on down the old bunny trail, when this guy offered me $200 for the vista cruiser. So I sold it to him"

Kitty:"Oh my, you sold Eric's car "(Kitty starts bursting out laughing)

_____________________________

Hyde:"This is what we do with a stolen clown,actually this is what we do without a stolen clown. It always Leeds back to this"

Randy impersonating fatso the clown:Thanks for bringing me here you guys.

Randy:Well fatso now that your free,Anything we can do for you.

Fatso:"Yeah could you find me a trashy clown hooker with nice long legs and a pair of double d."

(randy honks a horn twice)

Randy:"I found this in the garage"

Fez:"Oh you think your so funny(start's giggling) ok that was funny"

Jackie:"Look at that freaky ass clown. It's just staring at me it doesn't even blink"

Donna:"He's staring at you because he likes you, he loves you, he wants to marry you then KILL YOU"

(Jackie runs off screaming)

____________________

Fez:"I have incredible news. I kissed' Jacqueline Burckhart!"'

Hyde:"Yeah Fez I have some incredible news to so has everyone else"

Kelso: "I think it made totally sense that Fez ended up with Jackie. She started out with me, the Ferrarri, and..then she went to Hyde, the Mustang. Now she's with Fez. It's like a donkey pulling a cart full of brightly coloured Mexican blankets"

Eric: "(laughs) Oh hey Kelso, I almost forgot. I got you something from Africa for your daughter. Check it out! A genuine plastic rhinohorn!"

Kelso: "(takes the horn and puts it on his head) This is awesome! Look guys I'm a rhino! WRAF WRAF!!"

Hyde:"Guys.. I think it's time we honour all the braincells who survived the 70s. Despite our best efforts, some of those bastards pulled it through. But tonight, they're going down!"

Fez: "Die braincells die! And you're next liver! (drinks beer)"

Hyde: "Hey, did you guys hear that there's a car that runs on water? It's got a fiberblast aircooled engine and it runs on water man!"

Kelso: "(stunned) It like we never run out of things to talk about!"

Jackie: "I knew you would be down here."

'Donna: "You guys, it's almost midnight. Mrs. Forman is pouring the champagne!'"

(all rise)

Eric: "Hey guys, last one upstairs... Has to call Red a dumbass!"

'(Kelso and Hyde fighting, Hy'de wins and runs upstairs)

Kelso: "Ah man..." (puts on football helmet and goes upstairs)

Funny quotes
Bob:"What's cooking Fatso"

Fez hiding behind Fatso statue: Uhh... Welcome to Fatso burger. May I take your order.

Bob:I'll have a fatso combo meal with extra sauce

Fez:would you like apple pie with that?

Bob:Sure Fez:and an extra large soda for 10 cents more Bob:ok

Fez:And onion rings are free with all that

Bob:sounds good

Fez:Let me read that back. Fatso combo meal extra sauce, apple pie ,extra large soda and onion rings

Bob: you got it

Fez:sorry we are closed

Bob: then why did you take my order

Fez:Thank you now please drive away

Bob:But l'm hungry

Fez:Go buy a pizza

Bob:But I had pizza for lunch

Fez:WELL WHO'S FAULT IS THAT

Bob:GO TO HELL FATSO

Fez:SAME TO YOU LARDASS

(Bob drives away angry)

Hyde:Man that was awesome. Bob just got into a fight with a ceramic clown

Donna:belive it or not it's not the first time

Red-"My finger actually hurts from flipping people off"

Eric-"Red was right... I am a dumbass"

Fez:I am so excited to see star whores

Eric:Fez It's star wars

Fez:Aw screw that

Hyde:Mrs.foman I... Brownies I could make brownies...Because people love brownies

Eric:No they don't

Hyde:But they love my brownies

___________________________

Leo:"Just do what I do Take money from the register when the boss isn't looking"

Hyde:"Leo man ,you are the boss"

Leo:"yeah and I ain't looking"

___________________________

If there's a war, I'll see you in canada

_______________________________

You know I have it on stong athority that I'm a dumbass

Red's "foot in ass" jokes

 * "You morons just hung vacancy signs on your asses and my foot's looking for a room."
 * "You know I oughtta vandalize your ass with my foot."
 * "Sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs put their foot in your ass."
 * "How about I drive my foot into this thing called your ass?"
 * "How would you like to own a little piece of my foot in your ass?"
 * "My foot is about to drill a hole in your ass."
 * "And you are about to read a book that my foot wrote. It's called On the road to in your ass"
 * "Yes.... furious ... dumbasses...If you dont put that clown back...angry...foots in asses"
 * "I wish I had 2,000 feet so I could put 500 of them in each of your asses!"
 * "Sure, And than ill light my foot off in your ass."
 * "You know what else is hot...my foot when it's in your ass"
 * "My foot kicking your ass"
 * "So does a swift kick in the ass"
 * "I swear! I'll kick his ass"
 * "If I were a younger more flexible man I'd shove my foot up my own ass"
 * "X is gonna equal me kicking your ass"
 * "Well I've got a prank too,one where my foot doesn't plow through your ass. Let's hope it doesn't go horribly horribly wrong"
 * "Yeah well If I had missile-foot, it would be in you ass"
 * "You know we can call in a specialist to find my foot in your ass."
 * "Get under there or your gonna get a spider the size of my foot in your ass."
 * "Just be ready with that camera leo, and keep it pointed nice and low, i want alot of close ups with those patriotic men kissing my ass"
 * "The sucker could dodge a bullet but mother nature got him right in the ass."
 * "Keep up with the smart mouth and my foot will be 9/10ths of the way up your ass."
 * "If thats a star wars thing im gonna kick you in the ass."
 * "17 years of kicking your ass has finally payed off."
 * "if the US government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass, you say thank you and god bless america."
 * "Well get it off, or you'll have a classic case of foot stuck in ass."
 * "Well i have a prank to, one where my foot doesnt plow through your ass, lets hope it doesnt go horribly, horribly wrong."
 * "Listen, hophead! I love that woman with a firey passion that consumes my soul! That's right! So, you can either walk out of here on your own, or you can hop out of here with my boot in your ass."
 * "I'm about to be sleep kicking your ass!"
 * "Hey! Leggo My Foot In Your Ass."
 * "When my time comes i wanna be buried face down, so that anyone who doesnt like me can kiss my ass."
 * "If you ever do anything like that again i will kick your ass so hard your nose will bleed."
 * "Yeah, and your gonna love watching that new show called "blow it out your ass!"
 * "How would you like your keen eye to watch my sure foot kick your smart ass."
 * "Damn kids today they wouldnt know responsibility if it walked up and bit em in the ass."
 * "The world is a tough place, you drop your guard for 1 second and it'll kick you right in the ass."
 * "Why dont you go bust some pot smoking teenagers before i give you a good adult size kick in the ass!"
 * "It pays my foot not going in your ass."
 * "And may i suggest the footing of your ass."
 * "When i get back home, im gonna kick him in the ass."
 * "Get your head out of your ass."
 * "Your lucky this table is standing between my foot and your ass."
 * "My foot is shaking it wants to kick his ass so bad."
 * "Mr. Forman did you ever berate earl by calling him any of the following names. Candy ass, dumb ass, lazy ass and it keeps going on from there. Well that sounds like just good natured ribbon to me."
 * "Yes...Upset...All of you...Dumbass...uhmm...Yes...because if you dont...furious...foots in asses."